What is the worst business advice you've ever received?
There is a lot of bad advice business advice out there. I don’t mean simply incorrect or poorly fitting or not helpful kinds of advice. I’m talking about advice that is abusive and harmful.
It continues to do harm long after the Biz Expert uttered it.
There is currently a buzz in the air. Not the buzz of mosquitoes, but of something as annoying. Insidious? Vampire like?
You might think I’m being a little harsh, I mean it’s only the buzz surrounding a successful Lifestyle Biz Coach’s book launch. Which isn’t so bad if you enjoy listing to people speak from their place of privilege about how you should build your biz.
I know I love listening to wealthy folks tell me how easy it is to build a six-figure income.
That isn’t what this post is about. It’s about blow jobs. Sort of.
I normally pay very little attention to mainstream popular lifestyle/business coaches. For the most part, they are all peddling the same nonsense that uses abusive tactics to sell their wears. There is one particular person who is popping up in my orbits again due to her book launch and people wondering if it’s worth all the buzz.
I can’t tell you if it is or not. I’m not going to read the book. I’ll save that joy for someone else.
I’ve been asked what I thought about this Biz Coach Star and for the most part, people are surprised when I bring up blow jobs.
When it comes to female Biz Coaches, there is this idea that they are automatically feminist. Women supporting other women is part of feminism.
So when they do/say something that might not fit some people’s ideas of feminism, it can be a little surprising. At least until you realize they were supporting the patriarchy with the internalized misogyny many women are healing from.
As a person growing your biz it’s normal to want to be as helpful as possible to potential clients. Nothing wrong with that. Using your platform to promote harmful shit isn’t good business no matter who you are.
A particular Biz Coach created a video telling women to give their partners blow jobs to gain their support. She tried to play it in a fun joking fashion.
While she isn’t the first to give this sort of advice, telling women to use sex to manipulate their partners isn’t a joke. Telling women that the only value they have as a woman is sex isn’t a joke.
To be clear I’m not saying that oral sex or any sex is degrading in itself. I’m talking about reasons behind the act that have nothing to do with love or pleasure.
This advice isn’t sex-positive. It isn’t going to help you have a healthy relationship with your partner or yourself.
If your partner isn’t supportive of you, in biz or otherwise, it’s time to reevaluate that relationship. Maybe your partner doesn’t understand they aren’t being supportive or how to support you. Maybe they don’t give a shit. Issues like that take more than manipulative sex acts to solve.
Telling women to hand out blow jobs to get what they want is fucking shitty. You are only as worthy as the number of blow jobs you give. Fuck that.
You have more value as a person than what pleasure your body can provide another person. You deserve to have your dreams supported.
This type of advice, even when it’s not business related is manipulative, degrading and far from sex-positive. I’m not anti-blow job, but Coaches/Consultants/Gurus/Experts need to do better than resorting to harmful BS.
Imagine working so hard at your business, putting in all the healing work it takes to grow that business, only to have someone tell you that none of that meant anything. That it will continue to mean nothing to the one person who should be supportive (who isn’t you) until you get down on your needs and ‘beg’ for their support.
What do you do if that shiny Biz Coach you’ve been following tells you to use sex to get your partner to support your business?
Find a new Biz Coach. Seriously. I don’t care how popular they are or how seemingly good their other advice is. The only positive changes they are interested in making in the world is in their own bank balance.
People who give this sort of advice don’t deserve your support or your dollars. Even if your biz and relationships fail, they still got your cash. That is what matters to them.
There are some amazing Biz Coaches out there that aren’t upholding patriarchal fuckery. Find one of them.
Here are some links to help you get started in your search.
People I have not personally worked with but were recommended to me for this post.